Q: We have a wonderful 23-year-old grandson who has many amazing qualities but has no idea how to manage money. He has a good sense of value in his life about everything except cash.

He is a recent college graduate and has a girlfriend we like, but we're no longer surprised when we have to bail him out financially. He knows that we can give him financial assistance and relies on our checks. What's our solution?

A: It's a challenge to both parents and grandparents to say no to their children and grandchildren. You may feel unable to deny his financial requests, but this is building resentment and won't end happily.

On the one hand, breaking the pattern and denying his requests may cause him to become angry and resentful. However, his current financial drain on you is similarly detrimental to your relationship. You want to find a solution that doesn't end in acrimony and create wider familial tension.

Hopefully you can work out a compromise.

You love your grandson and want him to develop some financial skills and an awareness that the well will eventually run dry. Cutting him off is tempting, but it will impede his financial solvency and your good relationship.

Instead, you need to wean him off your free money. Institute boundaries and communicate them clearly. Instead of giving to him unconditionally, work with him to become independent.

To this end, have him create a monthly budget and send it to you. You can review his expenditures, look at his needs and determine what you're willing to give. Advise him about unnecessary spending.

Be firm, and tell him that you won't keep giving him money. He may not appreciate the change initially, but you're helping him in the long run. — Doug

DAY DRINKING

Q: Before I retired, I was rarely tempted by any of the common vices — gambling, drinking, smoking, etc. I was just too busy! Now that I've stopped working, however, I find myself drinking during the day.

What can I do to kick this bad habit?

A: Figure out why you're drinking more. Because this is new, it's likely a result of your adjustment to retirement. Luckily, a nascent habit is much easier to change than a cemented behavior pattern.

Are you bored, or perhaps lonely? You seem to be using alcohol to fill a new gap. Figuring out what you're missing will help you address it.

Sticking to your resolution is the most difficult part of making life changes. When abstaining from something, you're creating a void in your life that you'll feel tempted to fill, making it harder to stick to your commitment.

Instead of creating a daily struggle, replace your bad habit with something more constructive. You can directly replace alcohol with another beverage or make a larger change like join a new social group or start an activity.

You now have time to find something new and exciting! — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.