Q: With both my husband and I in retirement for the past four years, we realize our family relationships are changing. We have 14 blood relatives with whom we continue to do our best to maintain contact and love, but it's hard to keep up.

Realistically, we're now closer to and in more frequent contact with more of our retirement friends. We are beginning to feel a little guilty about not remaining in contact with family. Is this a normal adjustment, or do most retirees go through this?

A: It's normal because in retirement you develop new friends with whom you share similar experiences — health, financial needs and concerns, possibly losing your mate and changed priorities. Your needs are very different from those of your younger relatives.

You now have less in common, as they are keeping busy with their own family. Often, communication consists of infrequent phone calls, a little email and a few phone calls or visits for holidays and birthdays.

This does not mean you do not care for and love your relatives, but your paths have diverged. Now you have different needs, which contribute to your happiness, security and privacy.

With that in mind, keep a positive attitude! Enjoy your new friendships, but don't forget your family. Although your relationships have changed, make the most of them. And make the most of your time with your family, as they have a special place in your heart. — Doug

INVISIBLE PROBLEMS

Q: In my life, I've come to learn that we are often not able to see our own problems. It can be especially hard to find people who will be honest with me in this way.

Are you aware of some senior-specific issues?

A: You're absolutely right: We often can't see the problems right beneath our noses. That's why we're lucky to have others who will give us a reality check once in a while.

This can be problematic for seniors, as you might not realize certain issues that develop with age.

Many big issues are specifically related to the degeneration of certain senses, particularly scent or sight. This can often lead to seniors living in an unsanitary home, which can seem like a toxic waste dump to visitors.

First off, stop hoarding junk. You and your relatives never (Doug corrects, "rarely") use old newspapers or magazines, so just get rid of them. The same applies to any books or other items that have been damaged. Unless they are valuable right now, put them in the trash or donate them.

The same applies to food. Toss it if it looks stale, out-of-date or just plain unappealing. Nobody wants to eat it.

Keep your house clean — hire a professional once a month, if necessary. Plumbing can develop hidden mold that you might not smell. Bleach helps.

Lastly, make sure you are clean yourself. Bathe regularly, and don't forget deodorant. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.