Q: I am in my mid-60s. I have reasonably good health and am recently widowed.

I have no family support, and I have awakened to the reality that I have to take care of myself, as no one else will.

Can you recommend some suggestions?

A: Yes. Dramatic changes often impact our lives in ways over which we have no control. They can cause frustrations, loneliness and major stress.

Focus. Set goals. Control your finances. And have a more positive attitude and enjoy life. Learning to say no instead of allowing others to make your decisions is a powerful tool to make you feel more in charge.

Eliminate multitasking. It becomes more challenging when we age and causes additional stress.

Trash, sell or donate whatever you're hoarding, and enjoy having the free space.

Becoming addicted to TV is one of the most dangerous habits to which we're vulnerable. It is our major solution for escapism from reality when we are bored, in pain, lonely and unhappy.

Stay active daily, especially by walking, so that you are involved but not overdoing it. Realize that most individuals are primarily concerned about themselves. In fact, you can prove that by making new friends by simply asking them to talk about themselves.

The bottom line is to believe in yourself. Others will acknowledge and accept your need for freedom and independence! — Doug

HEALTH CHECK

Q: My memory is going down the drain. I struggle to keep up in conversations because I can't always find the right words, and my keys are never where I expect them!

How can I tell if these are normal problems or I should consult a doctor?

A: Everybody knows that our bodies change as we get older — our joints, our eyes, our bones and much more. Unfortunately, our brain isn't immune either. More than half of people older than 60 experience some sort of memory issue.

According to Harvard Medical School, there are seven memory problems that are common and don't warrant undue concern: transience, or forgetting facts or events over time; absentmindedness, or inattention leading to forgetfulness; blocking, or a temporary forgetfulness of a word or fact; misattribution, or partial memory with incorrect details; suggestibility, or later information that affects a memory; bias, or perception based on personal beliefs or judgment; and persistence, or inability to forget something.

These issues are all normal, but you may be worried if you find them extreme and persistent.

Before seeking a doctor, ask yourself what behaviors might be impairing your memory. Common aggravations can be lack of sleep, alcohol consumption, stress, anxiety or depression.

Conduct a little experiment to see whether changing your habits improves your memory. It can't hurt to take a catnap here and there!

If you do consult a doctor, ask about whether your memory is affected by any medication, or possibly your thyroid.

Practice healthy behavior, and be patient with yourself! Staying positive will make it easier to deal with your changing body.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.