Q: Most of my friends who are 70 or older have given up on setting goals, making resolutions and looking toward their futures. I continue to make plans for myself, but feel I am falling into that trap, and I don't want it to happen to me. How can I avoid that?

A: You're very wise to recognize that you may be slipping into similar habits and to be anxious not to make the mistake of looking backward instead of forward. Self-awareness and motivation are the vital first steps to avoid this inertia.

Positivity has been scientifically proven to be good for your health. Psychiatrists have learned that when you are light-hearted and happy, your immune system changes for the better. Your blood pressure also tends to remain more normal when you choose to have a positive outlook on life.

In a Duke University study over the course of four years, researchers observed that optimists suffer from less depression and have increased longevity. Happiness has also proven to lessen heart issues.

Committing yourself to expand new relationships, exercise regularly, volunteer and focus on a new outlook will be helpful. The important thing to do is stick with the plans you make.

Wrote Anthony Burgess, "Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone." — Doug

LET THEM MAKE MISTAKES

Q: I've seen a lot of things in my long life and have had my share of struggles, but I feel like I've managed to persevere through tough times and conquered my demons. Now I'm seeing my adult children go through the same difficult experiences that I went through, and I'm wondering what the point was.

My children don't listen to all of my advice, and it's difficult to watch them repeat my mistakes. What can I do to get them to listen to me?

A: Seeing your children into adulthood is tough: Your instinct is to protect them and have the final say in their lives, but they want to establish themselves as independent from you. That means that you will inevitably see them making choices that hurt.

Learning hard lessons is a part of life that everyone has to experience for themselves. If your children listened perfectly to everything you said, they would still have their own problems.

Remember this: Just because they don't take to your advice immediately, don't assume that they're not listening to you. Sometimes we have to learn lessons for ourselves. When your children decide to change their behavior, they'll be able to rely on the knowledge you've given them.

Your role for an adult child is more passive than active, and this transition can be painful. In your own life, you've probably benefitted from others passing their wisdom on to you. Your duty is to continue this cycle with your children, but unfortunately, nobody can control the pace of others' lives. Be patient with them! — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.