Q: Our son and daughter-in-law came to dinner last weekend and told us their marriage was on the rocks and that they were planning a divorce. That news jolted us, as we had no clue they were unhappy. We asked them why.

Their answer was that it was because our son had lost his job nearly three months ago, and they now have piled up over $6,000 in debt, and they believe they are no longer sexually compatible. They even think their two small children sense their problems.

Do you think that if we bail them out financially they can become happy again?

A: Only they can answer your question. Do they want to remain lovers and raise their family? It's reality time!

If so, what will be required? Usually the biggest problem is that couples do not match their income and spending, and overspend with their credit cards. Jobs are difficult to find, often not ones they like, and are offering few benefits. These added pressures pile stress on relationships.

Creating a livable budget and committing to it becomes mandatory. If they own a home and have equity, is it time to sell and rent? If you have set aside an inheritance for them, is it time to give it to them so they can save their marriage? There is always a price to pay, and a split family doubles the price.

How long does your son think it will be before he can get another job? Is he willing to accept lower-paying work until he and his wife get back on their feet? Could his wife also work? Can both become part-time sitters?

It is time for them to hire a professional marriage counselor, consider their options, their willingness to accept them, and move on if they agree to it.

Their counselor can offer his or her opinion. Hopefully, the counselor can foresee a positive outcome, and in the long run, prove to make their marriage even stronger!

Q: We are in our late 60s, and I am concerned that my husband is not in the best of health, even though he says he is OK. I believe he should see our doctor now. Other wives tell me they fight the same battle, because this is what men do!

What is the most important health decisions men face?

A: Ranking highest is heart disease, which is followed by cancer, accidents, unintended injuries, chronic respiratory diseases, strokes, depression and obesity.

Sometime, if you suspect one of these conditions exists, tell your husband you are making an appointment with your doctor for his checkup. Tell him how much you love him, that you need him, and that you will not let him go. Suggest it is time for his getting over his denial attitude. Hopefully, if all goes well, and no problem exists, it will also relieve both of you of your negative stress!

How wise you will both prove to be!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.