Q: After the war, we were able to buy a large home with the help of my husband's GI Bill benefits. It's where we raised our four children and continue to celebrate almost all of their birthdays and holidays.

Now that we're older, we plan to sell our home and find a smaller place that we could manage more easily. Our house and attic have become our entire family's storage barn. Over the years, when our kids have needed to move from one house or apartment to another, they gave us their overflow items. We're a parking place for bikes, tax files, dollhouses, baby carriages and even a boat. Now that we're moving, where can these items go?

Of course, rental storage facilities are available, but they're expensive, and as many of us know, once our items are in storage, we rarely visit them. Even when we do, it becomes a major chore, because the items we want are always buried under those we don't. What would you do?

A: You've reached your deadline! The reality is that time changes everything, and your family is now responsible for their own belongings and where they should go. Their options include selling items, donating them to charity, giving things away to their friends or neighbors, etc.

Give your family a three-month deadline to remove what they want to, and then call charities to pick up whatever's left. A lot of charities have services to pick up heavy items from your home. You will need to keep on top of your children to make sure they meet their deadline so that you can avoid being caught in a move with too much unwanted stuff!

Your goal is to look forward to moving into your new home, not keep excess mementoes of the past.

MOVING ON

Q: I've been unhappy in my marriage for many years and have recently been seriously considering divorcing my husband. I've taken a long time procrastinating about my decision, but it's now time for me to move on. How can I tell my husband I want a divorce?

A: It will be tough to tell him. Divorce is one of the most difficult decisions we can ever make, because it requires true emotional honesty with your partner. Unfortunately, however legitimate your reasons are, you can't avoid hurting your husband.

In the short term, what you tell him can feel devastating, but in the long term, staying in an unhealthy dynamic can be much more damaging. If you've truly thought this through, then you're making the right decision.

The best thing that you can do is deliver the news gently. Although your marriage may have been miserable, your reason for divorcing isn't to cause pain. You may even tell him important truths, so he can find a healthier relationship as well.

Your focus should be on you and on the positive change you can make for yourself going forward. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Stefan Andrej Shambora