Q: Our grandson is 18 and has just received his driver's license. He wants to continue living at home and attend our local junior college, which he could take a bus to. We love him, and naturally he now wants a car. His parents could afford to buy him one but could not afford the gas, maintenance and insurance. He has asked us whether we could pay for the additional expenses.

We could help some, but in the event of an accident or a major repair job, we wouldn't have the money to bail him out. Our other concern is that he had a C average in high school and doesn't have a clue about what he wants to do with his future. What should we do?

A: If he wants a car badly enough, he needs to step up to the plate and assume partial financial responsibility for this wish of immediate gratification. Talk to his parents and come to an agreement as to what you believe to be the best solution for his long-term well-being.

I recommend you tell him that you would like to help but don't have the money now. Suggest that he begin college and that he work part time. Tell him that you may be able to help with supplementary expenses by his 19th birthday.

Learning there's a future possibility, he may put himself in the "driver's seat" and take initiative. You'll give him the opportunity to save for a year, and he'll focus on his goals for the future. — Doug

POLITICAL NEIGHBORS

Q: My neighbor and I are always getting into arguments about politics, although we have been close friends for many years. We have always had conflicting opinions, but it has gotten worse this year. I do still enjoy spending time with his wife.

Do you think I should stop associating with the couple entirely?

A: Before removing your neighbors from your social life, try to see whether you can reach a compromise. The most obvious solution is to stop discussing politics. Of course, this solution is dependent on your neighbor's willingness to cooperate.

It can be difficult to eradicate old habits. The easiest method is to create a new routine. Introduce different conversation topics and find a new common interest. Before you see him, make an internal list of interesting things to fall back on when discussion becomes awkward.

If you consider political debate to be essential, instead consider the way in which you communicate. Do you listen to the other side? Do you avoid interruption? Do you avoid inflammatory language and insults? Do you respond to his comments instead of pursuing your own topic? Do you look for areas in which you agree?

Those are all excellent techniques to improve the caliber of your discussion. Improving your communication can vastly alter the tone of your interactions with others, and you may come to enjoy your conversations rather than dread them.

If those fixes don't work, you can always start ducking your neighbor's calls. — Emma

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.