Q: We no longer try hard to be involved with other residents in our retirement community. We are in our early 80s, use excuses and often procrastinate responding when we are invited to community activities. We used to be quite involved but have lost our motivation. We are relatively healthy, financially comfortable and realize we are isolating ourselves. We do not have family or children to deal with. Is this normal, or are we just contented with being by ourselves?

A: You are fortunate to be in your position. However, there are some considerations you should think and talk about now. We all face our mortalities, and when we lose partners, life becomes a different reality. It behooves us to stay involved with society, because we need help getting through our losses.

We are not born to be alone. People need people. Losing contact with friends can cause us to become less certain of our decisions. We need to know others care for us, and need companions to talk and share our feelings with. Your challenge now is to reset and make a commitment to regain your social connections. You reside in an opportunist living environment, where you can choose to re-involve yourselves with neighbors and friends more easily.

In many cases, when we become caretakers, we quickly learn it is the hardest job in the world, both physically and emotionally. When friends are available to assist us with our responsibilities, they can be helpful in supporting our needs.

Share these thoughts with your husband and look ahead. Tell him now is the time to rejoin the community, and stay engaged and connected. Taking this opportunity now will prove to be fruitful in your futures.

Q: I am an unhappy camper and considering divorcing my husband after many years of an unhappy marriage. I have procrastinated for so long, but decision time has finally arrived.

How am I going to tell him?

A: It will be tough when you actually do. I have a list of the most difficult decisions we are forced to make during our lives in which we reveal our true feelings to another individual. Unfortunately, the majority of secrets are not good news.

Examples include: "I love you," "Goodbye," "I lied to you," "I'm sorry," "I do not need you anymore," "You're adopted," "You love your mother more than you do me," "I'm bisexual," "I do not trust you," "I lost my job," "I'm pregnant," "You were right, I have found someone else" and "My doctor says I am dying."

When and if you do follow through with your message, deliver it gently. Your time together has been a choice for both of you, and you have experienced it together. Unfortunately, it will probably not be a surprise but anticipated! It happened!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.