As the new year approaches, we usually say, "This is the year I resolve to get in shape." We worship thinness and even if not overweight, worry about the little bulge here or blemish there. A 55-year-old friend of mine, who weighs 104 pounds, is consistently trying to lose an extra 4 pounds, hoping to move her sagging buttock back to where it was when she was 30. Fat chance.

Shape is a national obsession and although it pertains to health, it reflects the way we wish to look. The news media and advertisers portray being thin as a measure of beauty. Pictures of young men with perfect bodies or women wearing scanty clothes, showing a bare midriff and sporting jewelry in their bellybuttons are everywhere.

Our body image has a profound effect on relationships. New research, presented at the British Psychological Association meeting in England, shows that women who are happy with their weight and body image, and are comfortable in their own skin, are far more likely to maintain happy relationships and active sex lives. By contrast, women who are perpetually dieting and very critical of their every perceived flaw are less happy in their relationships and more likely to be sexually dissatisfied.

It's all about self-confidence and high self-esteem. Surveys of thousands of people older than 50, sponsored by the MacArthur Foundation, show that high self-esteem is the single most important predictor of a long and independent life. Poor self-esteem increases threefold the occurrence of illness and the risk of death. It is for this reason I always look on the positive side, hoping my patients will feel better about themselves after their appointments than before they came in.

There are many factors growing up that lead to low self-esteem: being raised in a dysfunctional family and bullied at school are just two. Physical or emotional abuse can scar a child forever. Adults' self-esteems can be affected by dysfunctional marriages, poor work environments or a feeling that nothing is ever good enough. Even the most successful of us can have low self-esteem. Being perpetually driven to improve and achieve more, and never being satisfied lead to success but also unhappiness brought on by dissatisfying personal lives, divorces and difficulties maintaining friendships.

So what can we do to improve our self-esteems? The causes are often so deep-rooted intensive psychotherapy may be needed to help achieve balanced and happy lives.

We should strive to have high self-worth. This may involve learning how to deal with dysfunctional relationships both at home and at work. Just because your body is not perfect and your weight higher than you would like, and you have some wrinkles and are less shapely than you used to be, it doesn't mean you are not beautiful. Obviously, beauty is much more than skin-deep. I frequently tell men they are beautiful. They look at me askance. I respond that beauty is not merely the way you look, but who you are, what you have done, the contributions you have made and what you stand for. Most women say the men in their lives are beautiful.

Many of us have negative thoughts about growing older, but these stereotypes are preposterous. In 2013, I turned 70, as did Mick Jagger, John Kerry, Newt Gingrich, Robert De Niro, Joe Namath and Billy Jean King. I have not yet reached my prime and believe the best is yet to come. And while most say 70 is the new 50, I say it's the new 45. There is nothing a 70-year-old can't do!

At 70, you can retire from your job if you wish but cannot retire from life. Life has to be full to have meaning. Cultivate your creative side. Remain a lifelong learner. Write, paint or develop an avocation. Stay occupied and involved. Remain close to your family.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if each of us felt comfortable with a bare midriff and a navel jewel? So what if it jiggles and moves from side to side and up and down? Always remember your inner and outer beauty, and tell yourself you are gorgeous.

Dr. David Lipschitz is the author of the book "Breaking the Rules of Aging." To find out more about Dr. David Lipschitz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. More information is available at: DrDavidHealth.com.