I recently received a frantic call from a baby boomer who had moved in with her father who had memory loss and was unable to live alone. Her mother had just been admitted to the hospital with cancer. Her father was becoming very agitated, and she was concerned that he may need to be in a nursing home. And what was she to do with her mother?

Many of us are facing similar dilemmas as our parents approach their 80s and beyond. Simultaneously, those aches and pains we are beginning to feel, those minor heart attacks and stories of friends with serious illnesses are daily reminders that we are not getting any younger. Yes, we the baby boomers are concerned about aging, and rightly so. Are memory loss, frailty and dependency inevitable? Will we have the needed financial resources? Will our health care system be able to cope with the aging baby boom generation?

These possibilities are truly frightening, but the future is much rosier than we think. Half the over-85 demographic is independent, remains sharp as a tack and enjoys life to the fullest. My mother has moved in with her 94-year-old boyfriend, and my friend's 80-year-old mother just gave up riding her Harley. We can be like this, provided we pay close attention to our health. Those negative stereotypes of aging could not be further from the truth.

And some of the rules of successful aging are not what you think. Believe it or not, there is compelling evidence that weight has little to do with health and longevity. Pleasantly plump people live longer and better than those who are excessively thin. Throw out those expensive diet books and avoid high-fat, high-carb, grapefruit or other fad diets that are doomed to failure. Eat sensibly and right for a long and healthy life. Losing and gaining weight is far more dangerous than having a constant weight.

Because exercise is so unpopular, current recommendations suggest that all we need is a little exercise to stay healthy. A half-hour a day, even in 10-minute segments, is better than no exercise.

But the goal must be to do as much rather than as little as possible. Walk at least 10 miles a week but preferably more. Get your heart rate up. The benefits are huge. And also consider exercising with weights that build muscle and prevent osteoporosis. Strength will increase, as will gait and balance. Even in the very old, weight training prevents frailty and reduces fall risk by 80 percent or more. It is far better to be fat and fit than thin and sedentary.

Forget those treadmill stress tests that are done almost annually for no good reason. But do make sure your cholesterol does not increase, your high blood pressure is treated, and that annual screening for cancer becomes routine. Many of us have elevated levels of the amino acid homocysteine that is an important risk factor for heart disease and that can be readily lowered by taking a daily folic acid supplement. A baby aspirin tablet a day is a must after age 50.

Stay calm and tranquil and, no matter your age, engage fully in life. For men, staying in a loving, intimate marriage prolongs life by 10 years, and married women live four years longer than single women. Spirituality and faith are strong predictors of good health.

And finally, self-esteem is critical for lifelong health. The better you feel about yourself the better the future. We complain about our weight, the wrinkles that line our faces and our broadening waists. We must recognize the inner and outer beauty in all of us. It is for this reason that I recommend to all of you that you follow my most important rule — wake up in the morning, look in a full-length mirror, and tell yourself with true enthusiasm that you are indeed gorgeous.

Dr. David Lipschitz is the author of the book "Breaking the Rules of Aging." To find out more about Dr. David Lipschitz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. More information is available at: DrDavidHealth.com.