Siren call of the selfie: Sometime in the not-so-distant future, the human survivors will look into their iPhone37 instant history modules to determine why their species nearly became extinct. A pattern will emerge. Stupid humans falling off cliffs while attempting selfies. Stupid humans walking into traffic while attempting selfies. The boy who took a selfie in front of an oncoming train. The young man who snapped a self-portrait while pulling the trigger of a pistol he mistakenly thought had no bullets.

Deep in that voluminous history (at least 127 deaths-by-selfie have been recorded, quite literally, since 2014) will be a listing under the heading: Lone Elk Park, 2017. Back in that year, history students will learn, people ignored the warnings of photographer Kent Burgess as well as insistent park signs in all-capital letters that told them not to approach the wild elk and to keep 100 feet away. And yet, they did it anyway. No one was killed, thank goodness. But the call of the selfie, it seems, was too irresistible. Gore and blood followed. And Darwin danced.

Below the gaydar: A professor at Stanford University has stirred up a lot of controversy by claiming to have developed a computer program that can analyze facial characteristics and determine someone's sexual orientation. It is the dawn of gaydar.

"Gaydar" is defined by the dictionary as "the putative ability to recognize homosexuals through observation or intuition." Until now, the science of it has been uncertain.

That may still be the case, though Michal Kosinski's work at Stanford may change that.

Scientists are divided over the legitimacy of his study, which he claims has shown to be up to 81 percent accurate in identifying the sexual orientation of white males in research settings using photographs. The New York Times reports he and his colleagues are being pilloried for "junk science" by some civil rights and gay rights groups with privacy concerns. But some experts in artificial intelligence aren't so sure it's junk.

We can only hope that if "gaydar" is ever perfected, the world will respond with a collective, "So what?"

Sauce for the angry hipster: Because all of the country's other problems have now been solved, fans of the Cartoon Network's "Rick and Morty" show are in an uproar because McDonald's didn't make enough of its Szechuan dipping sauce for a one-day promotion last Saturday.

On an episode of the show in April, the animated character Rick declares it's his life mission to obtain some of the dipping sauce created in 1998 for a brief promotion for the Disney movie "Mulan."

"I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty," Rick says. "That's my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons!"

McDonald's vastly underestimated demand, leading to talk of lawsuits and offers of sauce packets for $250 on eBay. Mickey D's says more will be coming this winter. Angry millennials await.

Good, and not so good: We were cheered to note that Gov. Eric Greitens could consider allowing the Missouri Highway Patrol to investigate officer-involved shootings. That his willingness to explore the idea came on the heels of his praising law enforcement's response to St. Louis-area protests dimmed our enthusiasm.

There is little disagreement that St. Louis police cannot continue to investigate themselves. The public lacks confidence in internal examinations because of the perception that a buddy system within the department influences the outcome.

Highway patrol investigations may be an alternative that the public would find acceptable. But kicking off the idea by commending the very officers the public wants investigated, particularly after multiple displays of abusive police behavior, dims hopes that the examinations would be unbiased.

His majesty is present: How often have you passed the Interior Department's headquarters at 18th and C streets in Washington, D.C., and wondered if the secretary was in? Well, wonder no more. Ryan Zinke, the former Navy SEAL and Montana congressman who serves as secretary of the Interior, has ordered a special flag flown over Interior Department buildings whenever he's in, The Washington Post reports. The flag travels with him when he leaves town on official business.

It's pretty grandiose for a man who fancies himself a cowboy, but Zinke has pretensions that way. He's under fire for private jet travel and has also commissioned special coins bearing his name that he passes out to visitors. Zinke defends the practice as mirroring the military tradition of flying a special flag whenever a garrison's commander is on post. Other Cabinet members have special flags, too, but nobody has flown them in decades.

It's the Interior Department, for crying out loud, not Buckingham Palace. Get over yourself.

Jerry Jones, man of principle: Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones took a principled stand by declaring Sunday that "any player who disrespects the flag or does not stand for the anthem will not play in the game." Amazingly, Jones maintained a stoic silence in years past when his players engaged in far more egregious conduct.

There was Josh Brent, who in 2012 killed teammate Jerry Brown while drunk driving. Within two weeks, Jones had Brent back with the team on the sideline. Quarterback Nolan Carroll was arrested for driving while intoxicated. These things happen. Running back Ezekiel Elliott reportedly sent a man to the hospital because of a bar fight. Others tested positive for drug abuse. There were spousal abuse cases. But kneeling during the national anthem is where Jones draws the line?

REPRINTED FROM THE ST LOUIS POST DISPATCH