Dear Bound: Cindi does this because she wants to make herself look good. The fact that she does it at your expense is damaging the friendship, and you should say so and ask her to stop. You also can let your friends know that you remember things a little differently, while holding your head up and not letting it get to you. But mostly, we hope you realize how very fortunate the two of you are to have escaped this robbery unharmed.
Dear Annie: A fairly new friend and I just returned from lunch, after which I realized that a rather frequent problem has happened yet again. I've read your column for years and know that people write to get help dealing with family and friends. This time, the problem is me!
When I'm with others, I chatter. I tell overly detailed stories. I even strike up conversations with people around me in lines and with store clerks. It's like I must become their friend for the duration. Sometimes before meeting with people, I tell myself that I will make an effort to control my chatter, but when I am having fun, I forget.
I really admire people who draw out conversation from others by asking pertinent questions, and I, too, want to be a person who asks and listens. Do you have any clues for reining myself in? — Chatty Cathy
Dear Chatty: The fact that you notice your chatter and wish to stop is a good sign, although you may be a little hard on yourself. Try counting to 10 when someone starts speaking. Listen to what they are saying. Imagine that it is a fascinating subject, and try to formulate a question or comment that allows them to expand on the topic. You don't have to do it every time, but even once or twice during a conversation will help you slow down and focus on the other person.
Dear Annie: The letter from "New York" described dumpster diving for food. My husband is an experienced "dumpster diver," although he doesn't look for edible items.
We live in a small college town. Annie, you would not believe what students throw into dumpsters when they go home for the summer or move into their own apartments. My husband has found brand-new appliances, clothes, and unopened cake mixes, cereal, spices and canned meats. It's astonishing. We have found microwave ovens, computers, video games, patio furniture, linens — you name it. When we were both out of work, this was a lifesaver to us. We are in a better financial situation now, but I remember those days fondly. — Mel in Michigan
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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